In 1996 I worked for about a year at a 7-11 in Portland, Oregon. I worked the graveyard shift of 11:00 pm to 7:00 am. To save time and because I am lazy I am not going to explain any history that led up to this situation (not now anyway). I am just going to share one event that happened one night that I hope you will enjoy. There are many many more, but I chose this one to start. I call it
"Are you robbing me or what?"
Like most nights at the 7-11 I was sitting behind the counter flipping through the magazines and drinking free beer out of a slurpie cup. This particular night Luke was joining me sitting on the other side of the counter also browsing the magazines. Luke was a guy a few years younger than me that lived around the corner and had come to hanging out with me out of his sheer boredom and my frequent offers to smoke pot in the walk in cooler as well as giving him free shit from the store. So we are sitting there around two or three in the morning and this guy walks in. Hey was a skinny white dude with long black hair drooped around his face. He walked up to the counter real slow with his head hung slightly down and both hands in his dark green trench coat. He just stood there staring at the scratch-off Lotto tickets through the plexi-glass counter top. I said something like "Hello can I help you?" Hey said nothing and just kept staring at the tickets. I looked at Luke who was now watching and turned back to this strange trench coat dude. I said " Do you want to buy some scratch offs?" Hey just stood there staring. Nobody else was in the store so after a few more seconds I said "okay, well you think about it and let me know" then sat back down shooting Luke a look of what the fuck. Just then the dude spoke up. "I want that one" as he reached out and touched the glass pointing at a ticket. I got up and walked to the counter. I took hold of the ticket spool he was pointing at and said "okay how many do you want?" He just stood there looking down and pointing and said nothing. Silence. I looked up at him while holding the roll. "Dude, how many do you want? He said "I want that one". I said "So you just want one?" and tore off a single ticket and put it on the counter. He says "No, I want that one" and tapped the glass pointing at a ticket four or five down the roll. I was confused at first, but then I figured it out. He wanted a specific ticket. I said "I can't break the roll up like that, if you want that specific ticket then you have to buy the ones before it too. He stood there for a second then he snapped "But I don't want those I want that one. That one is the winner". He was getting loud and intimidating, but Luke was there and I knew that I had backup if I needed it. I said "how do you know that that one is a winner?". No response. I said "look man I can't do that, if you want that one then you have to buy the ones before it". He put his hand back into his trench coat and stood there with his head hanging down and he started to look like he was getting sleepy. His eyes were drooping and his head was nodding down like was on something. I sat back down and said to Luke "what is it with this guy?" Luke gave me a bug eyed shoulder shrug and said nothing. Just then the dude woke up from his nap and tapped the glass again and angrily snapped "I want that one! That one is the winner." I just looked at him for a few seconds before telling him again that I couldn't do that. At this point he put his hand back in his pocket, his eyes still not moving from the ticket he wanted. Then he spoke softly and somewhat mumbled. He said "what makes you think I won't rob this place?" To which startled and unsure of what I was hearing I said "excuse me?" He still had yet to look at me or anywhere else in the store other than the ticket that he was sure was a winner. But now his eyes drifted from the winning ticket to somewhere vaguely in the middle of all the Lotto tickets. He again said somewhat lazily "what makes you think I won't rob you?" It was then I noticed that he had both his hands in his trench coat pockets and there was definite movement going on there. I was dumbfounded. I had no idea what to say. I looked at Luke then back at the psycho. I said " do you have a gun or something? Are you robbing me?" He didn't answer and I was getting nervous. At the same time I didn't know what to do. Hey was just standing there staring down with his hands in his pockets. I was totally on edge expecting a gun to be pulled at any second and kept my eyes on his pockets. Nothing. he just stood there and started to nod out again. I moved over towards Luke where the phone was to call the police because I was officially freaked out and done trying to communicate with this guy. I picked up the cordless phone and turned to keep my eyes on him. I said "look man you need to either show me a gun and rob me or leave my store because I am going to call the cops now". He quickly said without looking up "what makes you think I won't jump this counter and cut you?" I hit 911 on the phone keypad. Then the doorbell chimed as a couple customers came in and walked past him. I told the psycho "you need to leave my store I am calling the police". He stood there nodding out as the new customers stopped and watched. The 911 operator asked what my emergency was and I told her that there was a man at my counter threatening me and gave her my location. He still just stood there staring down, hands in pockets and nodding in and out. I made eye contact with the new customers and Luke again. We all just stood there on edge waiting to see what he would do. I said somewhat braver now "dude, you need to leave the store, the cops are on their way". Another couple dead air seconds passed before he finally and still not looking up said "man, fuck you man. I am gonna come back and rob this fuckin place". He turned to the door and slowly walked out. I watched him through the window walk out of view. I told the operator that he had left the store and she said the cops were on their way so I hung up. One of the customers said "what the hell was that all about?". I started to tell them what had just happened and in less than one minute a cop car blasted into the parking lot. I ran to the door and went outside. The cop jumped out, hand on gun and asked which way he went. I told him that he just left and pointed around the corner. He jumped back in his car and sped off. Somewhat relieved yet still high on adrenaline I went back inside to ring up the customers that were now ready to check out and we chatted for a minute. About three minutes later two more customers came in. Two big burly guys and they both looked shaken up by something. I heard one say to the other something about the police and right away I knew that my pathetic robber friend was involved. I said "did they catch him? Are they close by?" They seemed surprised by what I was asking, but I didn't want to waste time and ran around the counter. I said "wait here I'll be right back" and went out the door. I ran around the store to see two cop cars blocking traffic and what looked like some shirtless dude in the back seat of one of the cars. Yep, they got him. I watched for a couple seconds until I remembered that I had customers waiting on me and hurried back to the store. Then I found out part two of the story. My new customers still pumped up and excited explained to me their strange interaction with the trench coat man. It seems that they were just walking to the store when they were approached by this nutcase who asked if they wanted to fight him. They said no thank you, but he got enraged by their unrequited desire to fight and began shouting that they were bigger than he was. Which was true, these dudes would have had no problem stomping him. However, they just wanted to go to the store and repeated that they did not want to fight some stranger for no reason. And at that point the cop showed up with his spotlight on them and they started pointing to the crazy wants to fight guy. At which point the trench coat was torn off in a rage revealing a scrawny naked man. He screamed at the cops to "come on!" and "fuck you mother fuckers!" A second cop car showed up with spotlights beaming and they proceeded to point guns on him and order him to the ground. To which he refused. Preferring instead to shout obscenities at the cops in the middle of a busy two lane street while naked. A strategy which led to him being tackled, handcuffed and put into the back of a squad car. And thus the story as quickly as it had started was quickly over. I don't know what he was on or what was wrong with him or if indeed his lottery scratch off was the winner. All I know is that thankfully nobody got hurt I never saw him again.
